


Some childhood fears disappear, or turn into nostalgic feelings or humorous memories. Now, some twenty-five years later, I know so much more about all those topics that frightened me back then - and they scare me even more today, knowing their true impact. The ensuing problem - nightmares I could not talk about, as I had read the book in secret - made me try to forget it for the time being. I was a young teenager, and had been told that this might be a bit too difficult for me to take from my parents' bookshelf - which constituted a natural invitation to do exactly that of course. At the time when I first read this, I didn't know much of the Soviet Union, or of writers' fate within that state, or of cancer and its silent, treacherous spread in secret weak spots of the body.
